To most fair minded people it must appear strange how ferocious and ruthless the UK establishment has been fighting to retain Scotland as part of the United Kingdom. Scotland contains less than 10% of the UK population and realistically the divorce would hardly be noticed by the rest of the world. However, there is a hidden secret buried in the National Archives that provides a clue as to why the UK establishment has been so determined to block Scottish independence. Quite simply, historical records indicate that if Scotland leaves the UK it will leave London and the South East vulnerable to another outbreak of the Black Death.

How can this be possible? Historically the people who have populated southern Britain have been naturally more prone to the Plague. If you consider the last outbreak in 1348 it was mainly restricted to the South the most northerly occurrence being recorded in Eyam in Derbyshire. The Black Death never infected Scotland. For many centuries it was believed that there had been cases in Scotland but more recent research has determined that this was not the case.  But why are the people of southern England more prone than those from the north. Secret scientific research has identified that this difference is the result of a chromosome in the Scots that provides them with higher resistance to the Plague (this is actually Chromosome 18, more commonly known as the Barrbru Chromosome).

Over the 300 years of the Union Scottish blood has gradually and naturally integrated into the southern population to such an extent that the southern population now has a much higher resistance to the Black Death than it once did. The big worry in Westminster is that if Scotland becomes independent this trend will be reversed and the population of the South will again become more prone to Black Death to such a degree that there is a real possibility that the dreaded disease could return.

As the independence referendum opinion polls steadily head towards Yes there is mounting panic amongst the Westminster elite. Pandemonium is breaking out behind closed doors in the corridors of power about this calamitous possibility. Of course no one in UK government is prepared to acknowledge or discuss this situation. We did attempt to contact Lord George Robertson, the ex-secretary general of NATO, to get his opinion on this situation; however, we were informed that Lord Robertson is unable to comment at present. He is apparently working flat-out with NATO helping to develop contingency plans for the defence of Western Europe in preparation for the cataclysmic collapse in NATO defences that is expected to occur if Scotland votes for independence.

We also believe that a number of top secret scientific establishments are scrambling to create an alternative source for the Barrbru Chromosome. However, there are rumours that A.G. Barr, the world famous soft drinks manufacturer, may already have been contracted to provide a potential alternative. It is believed that they have a secret family formula for the desired replacement.  

In the meantime one option that is believed to be under consideration is offering an independent Scotland some form of deal for the continued supply of Barrbru, It has been suggested that a currency union could be offered in return for a guaranteed supply of this lifesaving product. Only time will tell whether an agreement of this nature can be reached or not. For the time being, however, southern England must just start preparing for the worst. An anonymous government source has indicated that southern local authorities have already started re-building their fleets of wheelbarrows and their stocks of quicklime. We wish them well.